The Unreliable Holy Spirit
August 3rd, 2025 “The Unreliable Holy Spirit” Rev. Heather Jepsen
Summer Sermon Series: Stump the Pastor
1 Samuel 18:1-16 and John 20:19-23
This morning, we return to our summer sermon series, “Stump the Pastor” where you ask hard questions and I try to answer them. I am working with two questions today. One person asked about the Holy Spirit, which is a very nebulous and mysterious force within our scriptures. The other person asked about depression, and whether or not that is something God can “fix”. In my mind these questions are connected because when I think of the Holy Spirit, I think of the human world of emotions and feelings. Let’s look at the scriptures together.
In the Old Testament narratives, the Spirit of God comes upon certain people at certain times and then seems to vanish and leave them alone. Moses and Joshua have it, some of the judges have it as do the prophets. One of my favorite characters in the scripture because he has such a complicated relationship with the Spirit of God is Saul.
When the Israelites demanded to have a king, the first man that God chose was Saul. He was handsome, tall and strong and he didn’t ask to be king. He actually was seeking out the prophet Samuel, when Samuel was suddenly told by God to anoint Saul as king of Israel. After his anointing, the Spirit of God possesses Saul, and he prophesizes and acts like a different person. Clearly it was a life-changing event.
Saul leads the nation for a few short years and has battle success and victory. But at one point he messes up. The people of Israel are waiting for the prophet Samuel to perform a sacrifice, and as he delays, they start getting agitated and restless. Finally, Saul performs the sacrifice in the prophet’s place, to placate and calm the people. It is that sin that casts Saul aside in God’s eyes, and God begins to look for a new man to become king.
In our reading for today, God has chosen David as the new king to replace Saul, but God hasn’t told Saul that. Instead, it appears that God is driving Saul crazy. The text tells us that an evil spirit from God rushes upon Saul and drives him mad. The only thing that can calm Saul’s heart is David’s harp playing, but Saul is obsessed with David. Saul can sense that God has left him and gone to be with David instead and it is maddening.
Whenever I think of mental health and the Bible I think of Saul. He didn’t ask to be king, he didn’t choose that path, he made mistakes under pressure and God had no grace for him. God gives David miles and miles of grace but for Saul God won’t bend an inch. God reminds me of a faithless lover in these stories. One of the prophet’s favorite metaphors for the idolatrous nation of Isreal is the cheating spouse, but no one ever calls God out for making a promise to Saul and then anointing and loving David behind his back. I am not happy with God in this story and I’m not afraid to say it!
In the story of Saul and David, David receives love and praise from all avenues and does nothing to earn or reciprocate those gifts. Saul by contrast is abandoned by God and family and it leaves him feeling isolated and alienated. The giving and then withholding of God’s Spirit leads to fear, anxiety, and depression. Saul reacts with violence, trying to kill David, because he knows David has come to take his place. He is right to be upset, because David has come to take his place. Saul’s story ends tragically. He is wounded in battle, and to avoid being captured and tortured by his enemies, Saul falls on his own sword and ends his life.
There is no happy ending for Saul, or for many people in the Old Testament stories for that matter. The scriptures seem to tell us that before the time of Jesus Christ; the Spirit of God would come and go. It seems to be limited to interacting with only one person at one time, and it gives that person prophetic and spiritual power when it is on them. But then it leaves, and the person is left feeling defeated, deflated, and depressed.
When Jesus comes to live with us, the Bible seems to say that the Spirit is with him. I think that it leaves him when he is on the cross, for there he is fully forsaken and broken, truly embracing the fullness of human suffering. But after he is raised from the dead, the Spirit returns, and he gives it to us.
In our reading from John, the risen Lord is with the disciples behind locked doors, and he breathes on them. He tells them that they are to have peace, and he gives them the gift of the Spirit. Later, in Luke’s book of Acts, the Spirit comes at Pentecost and pours out upon a whole bunch of people. We find then throughout the New Testament that many people are capable of receiving the Holy Spirit and holding that power over time. It doesn’t seem to arbitrarily come and go like with Saul, rather it is a lasting gift of peace.
I feel like with the Holy Spirit, as well as with all aspects of God, there is book learning and then there is life learning. You can read a book about the Holy Spirit and all the things it is supposed to be and do. Theologians will tell you that the work of the Holy Spirit is to present Christ to us, to give us new life, to grant liberation, to bond us in community with God and each other, to offer hope for the future, and to give the gifts of the Spirit like preaching and teaching. But reading all about the Holy Spirit only gets you halfway there. You have to live your life and explore your faith to learn the rest.
I think that the Holy Spirit is how we feel God in our lives. You have to live it to know what it is. When you sing a hymn you love in church, or even a song on the radio, and your heart swells open with joy, that’s the Spirit. When you hold your baby for the first time, or marvel at how wonderful they are when your kids grow up and tears come to your eyes, that’s the Spirit. When you stand and look at the ocean or the mountaintop view or the perfect green grassland and you just know there is beauty and goodness in the world, that’s the Spirit. When you are in the right place at the right time and for once manage to say the right thing to someone, that’s the Spirit. When you are counting your blessings, however minor they might be that day, that’s the Spirit.
And like Saul, sometimes we feel it and sometimes we don’t. I don’t think God sends something evil to torment us instead, but I do think our own hearts and minds get in the way. Like Saul we can be plagued by anxiety and self-doubt. We can let our fears get the better of us, and we spend our day in safe spaces rather than stepping out into God’s great world. We come to expect the worst from ourselves and others and so we don’t try new things or make new friends. Depression clouds our minds and our judgement, and we can no longer see or sense our belovedness. I know what that’s like because I’ve had those struggles myself.
I’m not sure that depression needs to be “fixed” per se. It seems to me to be a natural part of the human process, the ebb and flow of life. Like how my blood pressure and cholesterol go up as I age. There are medications to help those things, and medications to help with depression and that’s great. And some people have more problems with it than others and that’s normal. It just is part of being human.
And so, we come to church. We hear the stories, we reach out to God and to each other in faith. We stand alongside each other and lift each other up. When you don’t feel like singing and praying, then your neighbor in the pew will do it for you. We show up here, and we believe that God will meet us, and that at some point the Holy Spirit will blow through the room and our individual spirits will lift, and we will feel better.
You know as well as I do that life isn’t always good and easy and it certainly doesn’t go according to our plans. Sometimes we are down and sometimes we are up, and some of us struggle more with our minds than others. But all of us are loved, all of us are welcome, all of us are perfect, and all of us are a part of this family. God loves us and longs to meet us here in community. And so, we seek after God here together and on our own as we are able.
The Spirit of God is always with us, but sometimes our own minds and hearts get cloudy. That’s Ok, it is what it is. In those times I encourage everyone to get the help they need, reach out as they are able, and come to church when you can. The friends here have your back, and trust me, the people in this community can help you find your way back to the Spirit of God. Amen.
